5 Reason Guys Don't Get Laid

1. Lack of confidence.

2. Toooo desperate.

3. Trying to play in majors when they should stay in the minors.

4. Still living with their parents.

5. Fugly. Real fugging fugly.

The 6 Best Ways to Meet Girls This Weekend

1. Practice human pretzel moves in yoga class.

2. Squeeze melons at a farmer's market.

3. Locate nearest Emperor's Club, spend trust fund.

4. Pantie (i.e. thong) raid!

5. Gothicmatch.com.

6. Vegas.