Top 5 Remedies For Guys Who Choke

1. Hug From Mommy

2. Mass Alcohol

3. Strippers

4. Virgin Suicides (w/basketball players)

5. FT Practice

10 Things Guys Hate About You

1. Sunglasses

2. Drama

3. Sex in the City

4. Anorexia

5. Driving skills

6. Overweight best friend

7. Infidelity

8. Perfume

9. Syphilis

10. Da Vinci Code

Naomi Campbell's Heathrow Hissy Fit

5 Reasons You Know She's a Psycho

1. Thinks her meds are Flinstone vitamins.

2. Keeps referring to you as "that guy."

3. Writes songs about her 23 stray cats and a bong.

4."Accidentally" invites dad to cam when she's giving you head.

5. Likes talking to dead tree bark for moral support.

14 Things a Guy Won't Do With You (unless you're Hot)

1. Have sex with you on your period

2. Meet your friends, even worse, your family

3. Let you have the dry spot

4. Watch chick flicks

5. Buy you flowers

6. Listen to your complaints

7. Wear your panties

8. Go dancing

9. Enact PDA

10. Use a condom

11. Pick up your dog's poop

12. Go down on you

13. Write a song about you

14. Admit he's a major asshole

PS. Remember, hot chicks dig the a-holes
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14 Things a Guy Doesn't Mention on First Dates

1. Condi Rice

2. Three-ways

3. Herpes

4. Past stalking experience

5. Politics

6. Tom of myspace

7. Circumcision

8. Homoerotic tendencies

9. Shopping

10. Home Depot employment

11. "Mother"

12. Anthony Hopkins

13. Vegas

14. Vagina Monologues

21 Things Guys Don't Like

1. Condoms

2. Mother-in-laws

3. Directions

4. WNBA

5. Cosmopolitans

6. Mazda Miatas

7. Hairy bush

8. Hillary '08

9. Cockblocking

10. Tupperware

11. Valentine's Day

12. Shopping

13. Rice cakes

14. Opera

15. Erectile dysfunction

16. Cialis ads

17. Hippies

18. Smelly hippies

19. Apologizing

20. Bouncers

21. Oprah