Tom Brady's Second Worst Nightmare

"I'm going to kick Ashton Kutcher's ass. And, yeah, I may look a little small. But it's a nightmare! Duh."

Brady & Moss Pause For a Reflective Moment

TB: That's not a cool thing to say.

RM: Relax. It's not like I'm prejudiced or anything.

TB: Really?

RM: Yeah, man. Some of my best friends are crackers.

TB: And me?

RM: Just throw me the ball, saltine.

QB Most Likely to be Loved in West Hollywood

Sorry, Eli, "can't touch this."

You ever wondered how many dudes touch themselves imagining T.B.? Me neither.

And, oh yeah, one last thing: choosing Brady in the poll (top right of page) doesn't mean you're gay. Even if you are. And of course there's nothing wrong with that.

Have No Fear, Brady Could Pierce It With His Eyes Closed

Not the apple...