Obama Prays For Rose Bowl Victory

Shortly After the Ball Drops on Times Square

The garbage must be collected.


Send Isiah a real message in the confetti!!!!

Two Words For Shaq: It's Time

NBA: Where Amazing DOESN'T Happen Every Two Seconds

But trying telling that to play-by-play man Mike Breen, who sounds like he has an Enzyte erection at all moments of a game, no matter how mundane: "The ball is inbounded!" (BOING), "He got a rebound!" (BOING), "The waterboy tries to go backdoor on me!"

How NBA Coaches Feel After the New Mandatory Quarter Break Interview

Play The Hot New Game...

Next to be, well, hung

Another Reason Why Youtube Shouldn't Be Available to the Assistant Principal

Jeter Not Ready to Admit Anything, Yet Curious

Related post

After Psychotic Break, Papelbon's Dog Wants Equal Treatment

original story

Nomination For the Pole Dancer Hall of Fame

36 seconds in...

Michael Richards Comes Out With Laugh Factory Excuse

If Roger Clemens Was the Son of a Toymaker...

Jeter in on the act

Great piece in NYT:
Pete Rose's Lesson for Roger Clemens

A View From Last Night's Laker Bridge

The Clipper Curse is alive and well.

Pettitte Claims He Only Used HGH For 2 Days

Clemens claims contact high.

Why I Think Sideline Reporters Are Geniuses

Wait! I am just about to lift my finger off the "y" key...And...I'm typing again:

Battle of Desperate NFL Owners: Summer 2009

Bud Selig Falls Off Podium And Breaks Mind

OK, he didn't really. But easy believable.

This is truly a man who is losing his facilities -- "Eh? what's that you say?"-- and shouldn't be in charge of such a major organization. And, oh yeah, the dude's a corporate stooge.

Does he actually believe himself when he says this isn't a setback for the sport? He should be in trenches with the MLB PR people right now. Can't wait to see the manipulative commercial BS they come up with:

"MLB: Where Amazing (Drugs) Happen."


"Can I have a do-over for Christmas, please, Santa? And maybe a shiny red wagon?"

Kenny Smith Up For Play-by-Play Brilliance of the Year Award

With 37.6 on the clock vs. Sonics, this gem from the Kenster: "Only down five, plenty of time to go." He actually said it with a purpose. The purpose to sound like the foolish play-by-play guy he is. BTW, Knicks lost, crowd continued their "Fire Isiah!" chant and Isiah was quoted as saying it was "win or die." Funny enough, I'm not seeing his funeral today. And, to the next genius that hires Zeke after this one...Have I got a bridge for you.

We Now Return You to Your Regular Sports Programming

Yes, covering the writer's strike was downright grueling for the Dawger, and kind of sad. I am wondering how all those poor souls will feed their families: a diet of Aspen for the holidays.

Anyway, priorities are now in order (sports, and chicks, rule!) and DD is heading back into the sportal waters...

COACH OVERBOARD! FALCONS PETRINO PHONES IN RESIGNATION
Rest of franchise wishes they could follow. James Cameron thinks "sequel," but with dogs and prison and stuff. I can hear Celine warming up now.

CAVS BENCH TO THE RESCUE
Helps when LBJ's coming off it. And not sitting on it injured.

NEW JERSEY FAILS TO PUT BALL THROUGH NET IN 4Q
I lost count at 15 in a row. Who would've ever thunk the day would come that VC himself got posterized, and by a rookie? Say it wasn't so Vince! It was so.

BTW: Nets suck. Eastern Conf sucks (OK, not you Boston) and I'd rather watch paint dry. I got news for you David Stern: AMAZING DOESN'T HAPPEN IN THIS CONFERENCE!

5-YEAR-OLD DESCENDANT OF DAVY CROCKETT KILLS BEAR!!!!
Stephen Colbert not around to celebrate it. Think this dude could take a bear?

Vick Sentenced to 23 Months

"Thank you, Santa."

F*ck the Writer's Strike!

David Duchovny on the Picket Line

Rex Grossman Fan Club Takes Big Hit

Before injury: 4
After injury: 1

For membership info please contact: rexsmom@yahoo.com



"Oh, Rex, son, you used to have so many admirers."

Tina Fey Weighs in on Knicks

Bonds Drops The Big One on Pearl Harbor Day

"I'd like to play in 2008." How does the San Quentin Mud Gulls strike you?

Remaining 47 Vick Dogs Placed With Rescue Groups...

Be on the lookout for 13 pay-girlfriends that still remain on the loose. If seen, please approach with extreme caution.



"I'm slugging the first one in here that calls me 'Dawg'."

IT'S OFFICIAL: BRONCOS HENRY DIDN'T INHALE

He did have to pass a lie detector test, submit a hair follicle sample, and, worst of all, he had to go through the tortuous process of breathing "second-hand" marijuana smoke. Is this the NFL or a Cheech & Chong movie?

CABRERA AND WILLIS HEADED TO MOTOR CITY
What you talkin' bout? Talkin' about the demolition project continues in FLA. Luckily no one gets to vote on it.

MORE UGLY HOOPS AT THE GARDEN
Only this time it was between USC and Memphis, the Tigers winning in OT. And forget the name of the Rose, and hold the Mayo, say hello to Devon Jefferson.

STALKING STUFFER: THE MITCHELL REPORT TO BE RELEASED BEFORE XMAS
Make no mistake, he* knows if you've been bad or good...
(*not to be confused with Jose Le Hoe Canseco)

OFFICIAL REPORT: ROLLE UNHAPPY HE WAS CALLED A BOY
Runs right home and tells his agent.

ANDERSON VAREJAO FINALLY SIGNS OFFER SHEET WITH BOBCATS
There hasn't been a holdout this insignificant since K-Fed refused to sign the divorce papers.

BRIAN BILLICK BITES HEAD OFF CHICKEN

A FORTUITOUS FOURTH SEES PATRIOTS STICK TOGETHER IN PERFECTION
While Raven players wonder if their coaching staff is with or against them.

NOTE TO MIKE TIRICO:
Tone it the Fu*k down!

BRUINS FALL TO NO.8 IN LATEST CBA POLL
One question: Where was the Love?

KEVIN DURANT A LOCK FOR R.O.Y.
What else do you give the player with the worst plus/minus in the league?

BULLS FUTILITY CONTINUES AGAINST MAVS
John Paxson seen scouting halftime shooting contest.

UCLA HANDS KARL DORRELL HIS WALKING PAPERS
Only five black coaches left at 119 major programs. This is no "dawg." This is sad.

YANKS TALK TOUGH: GIVE TWINS MONDAY NIGHT DEADLINE ON SANTANA
Carlos wonders if Bronx Bombers will ever change their evil ways.

CUBAN STILL COVETS CUBBIES
Calls it a "passion project." The passion to make a few gazillion more bucks.

NOTRE DAME'S CHARLIE WEIS CAPTURES YESTERDAY'S YOGI BERRA AWARD
"What you have to do is win more football games."

THE BCS DANCE IS HERE! WHAT WOULD MARIE OSMOND DO?

BCS HANDS OUT TICKETS
Fortunately Marie Osmond not invited. P.S. And you won't want to miss that San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl!

JAMARCUS SIGHTING IN OAKLAND
As was a Raider team -- for a day.

IF LUKE WALTON WASN'T A LEGACY, WOULD HE BE IN THE NBA?
I know, I know, he has a great basketball IQ. But so do I and I'm not even starting for my Y-rec league team.

SEEN AT LAKER GAME: LAMAR ODOM TALKING SMACK WITH DWIGHT HOWARD
Hey, L.O., isn't the time for talk over? Oh yeah, Coach wants you to take more 3's. Not.

LONGHORNS SHOW UCLA THE LOVE WITH 8SEC TO GO
Love himself saddled with a case of the White Man Disease during game: Big, slow and in foul trouble.

SONICS SCOREBOARD CATCHES FIRE
You see, even being a Sonic scoreboard is hell. Scoreboard: "I've lost count! I'm burning up! Get me the hell out of this city!"

KNICKS FAIL (ONCE AGAIN) TO MAKE IT UP THE HILL
It's like they're rolling down the other side in a drunken frat haze.

WHAT'S UP WITH FRANK BEAMER'S THIRD CHIN?

It almost made me blow my lunch.

ANOTHER USELESS BROAD ON SIDELINES
Lisa Salters during last night's Missouri/OU game: "Chase Daniels is fuming!" Cut to Daniels sitting on the bench looking as cool as a cucumber. "Oops! Never mind."

SIGN SPOTTED AT MAVS/HORNETS GAME
"Dirk makes me want to be German." To the moron that actually spent all week thinking that one up: Auf Wiedersehen.

RODNEY PEETE INTRODUCES LINEUP FOR TROJANS
Rob Reiner for UCLA. Hmm. What position did he play? Lunch line safety? Meathead.

MUSWOODY (NOUN)
That which occurs when Brent Musburger sees anything go down on a football field. Can someone please lessen the Viagra dosage?

AMOUNT OF TIMES VERNE LUNDQUIST SAYS "MY GOODNESS" A GAME
Lost count.

SUSPECTED COACH ISIAH SIGHTING AT GARDEN

STAN VAN GUNDY FOR COACH OF YEAR
Isiah Thomas for Coach of the Night -- in the northeastern section of the country, excluding the Syracuse University Intramural League.

"NBA: WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS"
Except if you're a Knicks fan.

USA DAVIS CUP ON VERGE OF FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP SINCE '95
Three viewers excited. What's up with that? Gooooooo team?

TO THE UPTIGHT COMMENTATOR GANG: HUBIE AND DOUG
For how it's done right, see: Majerle, Dan. It ain't brain surgery. You guys really need to sit on a whoopee cushion or something.

D-HOWARD=MONSTER
D-HOWARD'S FTs=MOUSE
Subtract the mouse from the monster and what you get is a Manster. He'll still eat you alive.

KNIEVEL: OCTOBER 17, 1938 - NOVEMBER 30, 2007

YOU WILL NEVER HOLD THE MAYO DOWN

The Juice, maybe -- if we're lucky.

COWBOYS WELCOME MR. RODGERS TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Bryant Gumbel sitting on a porch in a rocking chair broadcasting it. Can a game be called any worse? Vote now. Oh yeah: Paging Dr. Kevorkian.

BOSTON TAKES A BIG BITE OUT OF KNICKS
Rotten apple Isiah feeling the crunch. Soon to be a Gotham Goner.

FALCONS OT WEINER TO MISS REST OF SEASON
WTF cares, I just haven't said weener in a while.

HEY, TNT & ESPN & ALL YOU OTHER "JOURNALISTS", GUESS WHAT?
I actually do know that Kareem is Bynum's tutor. I don't know why you persist in telling us every f-ing game. Get over it.

LAKERS EXTEND PHIL JACKSON'S CONTRACT
Yippee! That's two more years Jeannie has a chance of getting an engagement ring. Thanks, dad!

COWBOYS SET TO RIDE PACKERS HARD

Sounds like it has the making of a Brokeback Mountain sequel.

SHOCKER! OJ PLEADS "NOT GUILTY"
Marion Berry's reaction:








LA RUSSA PLEADS "GUILTY"
Imagine that, OJ.

UC SANTA BARBARA UPSETS UNLV
SB students show true colors by taking more pleasure in counting the clock down to 4:20.

YAOZA! ROCKETS ECLIPSE SUNS
Somewhere, a billion Chinese folk are cheering. Maybe China?

RON ARTEST LEADS THE LEAGUE IN 3POINT %
No stats kept on psychotic breakdowns.

THE HAWKS PLAYED A BASKETBALL GAME LAST NIGHT...
And a crowd almost broke out. Which is more than we can say for you New Orleans.

DANCING WITH STARS SPREADS GAY AGENDA

ESPN ANCHOR ROBERT FLORES WANTS TO GIVE A SHOUT-OUT TO...
Eddie Munster.

CELTS HUMAN, LBJ ON A MISSION
Forget getting his troops out of 'Nam, he just needs to find one that can shoot straight.

VAREJAO TO NBA: I'M HOTTER THAN THAT!
6.7p and 6.8r says you're so not.

INDY DRIVER WINS DANCING WITH STARS
And if you were watching that instead of hoops last night you're probably on Logo's mailing lisp, er, list. All right, I'm sorry. Bad taste. I promise to make it up to you should I ever see you at a Comets game...

"Hey, Ricky! Psst! Ricky Williams! Over Here, Bro..."

Would you give up all those bong hits for 6 carries?

And WTF happened to all those hours of yoga Williams put in? He's supposedly qualified to teach it. His favorite pose? Gotta be the Twig.

Sssssssssssnap.

RAIDERS BREAK 17 GAME LOSING STREAK VS. CONFERENCE FOES

Foes finally make it out of Raider parking lot without getting shot at.

REX GROSSMAN FAN CLUB INCREASES BY 100%
Rex's mother and father happy to finally be on board. They join charter members: Rex's sister and brother.

OH, YOU WACKY BEARS FANS WITH YOUR SHIRTS OFF
I ask you to spell I.Q. and you say "Huh?"

DOESN'T DITKA STILL LOOK LIKE HE COULD RIP THE HEAD OFF A CHICKEN AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE?
If I'm his postal worker, I'm giving away the stamps.

I'LL SAY THIS FOR YOU OCHO...
Losing's never been more fun in Cincy. P.S. You will never be as cool as Dr. Johnny Fever.

PAGING SCOTT SKILES...
NBDL on line two.

HEY, YOU. YES YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO ADD TO YOUR DIET?
Maybe a little more bran, and a lot more Banderas.

PHIL FULMER LIVES TO DROOL ANOTHER DAY

"4 OTS AND I SMELLED WORSE THAN A HIPPIE WITH A BAD WHEAT GRASS HABIT."
Wondering...is Fulmer Fred Thompson's younger brother?

UCLA MAKES THE BATTLE FOR THE ROSES INTERESTING
Meanwhile, Ducks grounded by a leaf and some other scrubbery.

HEY! BIG NEWS: HULK HOGAN'S MARRIAGE OVER
Ladies, and small terriers, the line starts to the left.

THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM FOR SAMPRAS OVER FEDERER
Sampras' wife still hot.

FORMER TAMPA BAY CHEERLEADER, BACHELOR CONTESTANT, POPS BF IN THE MOUTH
BF promises never to utter the magic words again: You f_cking has b_ _ n.

RAY ALLEN FOR THE GAME WINNER
Red Auerbach for the post-grave woody.

JAYHAWKS GET SWEPT UP IN TIGER TORNADO
"Oh...BCS, we're not in Kansas anymore."

TAKE THAT TOMMY-POINT AND SHOVE IT

LISTENING TO CELT'S BROADCASTER TOMMY HEINSOHN REMINDS ME OF THE DRUNK AT THE BAR
The one you can't ask to leave because he helped build the friggin' bar.

IT'S CLEAR: MARION JONES STRIPPED OF EVERYTHING
Let that be a lesson to all you sexy women who want to perform like men. Except, of course, you Hillary.

GAME QUOTE: "THEY HAVE THIS LSU DEFENSE REELING."
Not sure, but I think Obama could've strapped on a helmet and scored.

SECOND OLDEST RIVALRY NO.1 ON SCHEDULE TONIGHT
By midnight, one will have lost more than a glass slipper.

"EVERYBODY'S GOING TO REMEMBER THE 2007 MISSOURI-KANSAS GAME. FOREVER," SAYS MISSOURI COACH.
LOL. Yeah, count on that. In fact, remind me of it again when your carriage turns into a pumpkin, bro.

PATS SET TO GET ALL TOUCHY-FEELY AGAINST EAGLES
Feely set for a week of chiropractic appointments, consultation with Dr. Phil.

CALLAHAN, ONE MONTH AGO: "I HAVE DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB IN EVERY AREA."
Yesterday: "Do you know anybody that wants to buy a bridge?"

Meet the Falker

RANDAL FALKER PLAYS FOR SO. ILLINOIS HOOPS
I only hope he gets a haircut before he meets my parents.

NBA TAKES THE HOLIDAY OFF
Strippers nationwide give thanks.

KENNY ROGERS FOLDS ONE A-HOLE AGENT AND HIRES ANOTHER
Himself.

ISIAH: “WHEN YOU'RE IN A HOLE LIKE THIS, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PLAYERS, IT'S REALLY ABOUT THE COACH."
Next.

OLD SPICE POOFTER
Is it just me, or has the guy in this commercial never played a basketball game in his life? And must we look at that disgusting chest-hair growth simulation? Is this a commercial or the birthing of Robin Williams?

MINUS THE HAIR, RICKY WILLIAMS RETURNS TO PRACTICE
"We kind of forget he's here," a Dolphin teammate tells reporters. Hmm. What's he smoking?

TYSON SURVIVES INTENSE 24-HOUR SENTENCE
Spends time reading, and re-acquainting himself with his old friend Sloppy Joe. No word on whether or not sloppy seconds were granted. Either way, there's going to be some mighty jealous pigeons when he gets home.

I WANNA BE LIKE JOSE (CANSECO)

Because he is going to get nothing but more airplay through this whole (already boring-ass) Bonds saga.

But, oh, did you hear why Jose took 'roids in the first place? Told to Dennis Miller last night, and I am sure it's within the pages of JC's book I didn't read: Because he promised his brain dead mommy on her death bed he'd be the best baseball player in the world. Gee Jose, mommy must be so proud. Hold your head up son!

NINERS ALEX SMITH OUT
Redundant. This former No. 1 cat was out before he even played a game in the NFL.

LAKERS BLOCKBUSTER TRADE GOES DOWN
Kobe and Vanessa said to be looking for second home in Silver Lake.

WIZ ANDRE BLATCHE HAS BREAK OUT GAME
Hey, Andre, I hyped you two years ago. Where ya been hiding? Agent Zero's shadow/EGO can't be that big. Maybe it can.

GREG ANDERSON STICKING BY HIS MAN
Anderson's defense team: "But all any of us have is what we believe is who we are and our word and integrity." OK, the only thing I understood in that sentence was the word integrity. Of course, everyone associated with Bonds has tons of that to go around.

KNICKS WOES CONTINUE
Zeke kicks entire team out of practice. Next to go: Matthew Modine.




"Dude! That's not fair! Tragedy is my middle name. Maybe you've seen my Lear?"

LIL ROMEO PROFESSES LOVE FOR TROJAN HOOPS

"This is the most important thing I've had to do," the Beverly Hills teen said. "And hopefully it sends a message to kids across the country that education is more important than money."

Pretty easy to say when you already have all the money, eh, Rom? And you're getting a scholarship to one of the country's finest schools. Which, you know, so many of those "kids across the country" have an opportunity to do.

DEAR BRIAN BILLICK, ONE WORD: REHAB
It's called assholism, bro.

VICK TAKES IT TO THE BIG HOUSE EARLY
Do you think he slugs the first guy that calls him "Dawg"?

TYSON SENTENCED TO 24 HOURS IN TENT CITY
Open air. Pink underwear. Black & white striped uniforms? Is this jail? Or an episode of Punk'd?

2247 PLAYERS & 239,890 FANS CLAIM THEY'RE NO. 1 OVER THE WEEKEND

Hey Dickhead, your team is barely hovering above .500. You know what you can do with that finger?

BILLS DEFENSIVE END BEFORE GAME WITH PATS...
"We have a great opportunity to show the world we mean business, that the Buffalo Bills are somebody to be taken seriously." After the game: "We're really good at Madden '08. I mean, really."

STEPHEN JACKSON OVER SUSPENSION
For "criminal recklessness," which is actually a perfect way to describe the Warrior's style of play. Albeit fun to watch, crime never pays, even if you name him captain.

PHILLIP RIVERS MOST TO'S IN NFL
If they had it to do all over again...Naw, Eli sucks just as bad, if not worse.

T.O. AND MOSS: ALL QUIET ON THE PRIMA DONNA FRONT
Amazing what winning does for spoiled brats.

NBC'S FIRST DOWN GRAPHIC IS PRETTY COOL
How long 'til it's plastered with Masengill ads?

KEVIN MARTIN: WIMPIEST LOOKING BAD-ASS PLAYER IN THE NBA
I swear my 12-yr-old niece could take him. And she's only a yellow belt.

SUNDAY SCOTT POLLARD SIGHTING IN CELTIC GREEN
Cavemen casting directors wowed by performance.


While we're on the subject of Cavemen, tell me why it is you kids wear your pants around your ankles again...

Tila Tequila Is Carrying My Bastard Love Child

Not just my love child. But the whole world's. Seriously, I got my first taste of Miss T's show tonight and I can now say, without a doubt, that god does not exist.

All those skanky wannabe actors/misfits after one helluva skanky misfit herself (Tila). In fact, if there's more boat people like her somewhere, can we please mine the waters so they don't make it to our shores? No, really, who in their right mind would want to have a shot at "love" with a midget like this? OK, other than Verne Troyer. But, really, the only shot I'd like to have is with a semi-automatic pistol. And it would not be pretty.

Oh, and the bitch-fight tonight. Gotta have a bitch-fight if you want to do reality TV properly. Bravo to the producers, excellent plot point. And to think your writer's are on strike right now.

Um, just wondering...is Dani a he or a she? Never really came to a conclusion after the thirteen minutes I viewed. Thirteen minutes that spell the doom of mankind. Thanks "Tom." When you get to Satan'sSpace, I hope 92 Tequila clones are their to roast your ass at the stake. It'll be a hot time in the old town tonight: FIRE, FIRE, FIRE.

Hey! Maybe that would finally cure your dandruff.

And, Tila, this shout-out goes directly to you, babe: If I was looking for a "Deeper Connection" in life, I'd choose a toaster over you any day of the week. MTV or no MTV.

Daily Dawg

REX GROSSMAN FAN CLUB MEETS FOR TAILGATE PARTY
Two out of three fail to show up.

OSU HEADED TO ROSE BOWL
Lloyd Carr headed to thorny issue of "buh-bye."

ROCKETS PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN SAYS SUNS OFFENSE LIKE WATCHING A BALLET
Yeah, only half as gay.

FEDERER WINS FOURTH MASTERS CUP
Rest of tour eyes World Badminton League.

CONFIRMATION: HAAS NOT POISONED
Thank god. Now we can go back to trusting Russia as the freedom loving nation they are. Free toilet paper for everybody!

A-ROD GETS INSIDER TIPS FROM BUFFET
Won't have to waste away in Borasville anymore.

FRESHMEN MICHAEL BEASLEY & OJ MAYO PUTTING UP HUGE NUMBERS
NBA scouts receive medical attention for erections that last for more than four hours.

The Inner Life of Brett Favre

We interrupt the usual dawging to give a special thanks to one of the gutsiest athletes ever: Brett Favre. Here's a look inside the mind of the man himself.

PRESEASON
"I don’t think anyone needs six week of camp for maybe five preseason games. It’s ridiculous. Too many guys get hurt over a game that means nothing. I go back with all the young guys, and they start from day one. And I’m just sitting there thinking about hedging, weeding, or golfing.”

FACING THE BURNOUT
“I think a lot of players – not necessarily athletes; people who’ve been successful for a long period of time, whatever field they’re in – probably face the same challenge. Maybe you’ve had numerous albums and No.1’s, and finally you say, ‘Who cares?’ Like Garth Brooks, who walked away from it. I think everybody faces that time.”

NEON DEION FADING
“I talked to Deion Sanders right before he retired. He said, ‘You know what Brett? I knew it was time for me to retire when I was playing and I looked up in the third quarter’, and regardless of who he was covering, he’d like up at the clock and say, ‘Man, this game can’t get over quick enough.’”

MOTHERS HIDE YOUR BREAD LOAVES
“The only reason I am there is my right arm. If I had a great will to win, and I was a great leader, but I couldn’t dent a loaf of bread from 10 yards, I wouldn’t be there.”

YOU KEEP ON PLAYING THOSE MIND GAMES
“Time and time again, I go into training camp and I think part of it is, I’ve challenged myself subconsciously. I go into training camp and say, ‘I just don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can make this throw work.’ That’s always worked in my favor – those doubts, letting those doubts creep in the back of my mind. I wouldn’t say I’m a pessimist. But I also wouldn’t say I’m an optimist. I’m sure a lot of people would think, ‘Brett Favre, he’s probably got the most confidence – off the charts.’ It’s not that I don’t. But I’m a realist. I’m not going to go out there and light it up week in and week out.”

THE HURT
“We won the Super Bowl and then lost it the following year, within a year’s time. The feeling I got when we lost easily outweighed the jubilation I had when we won it.”

THE HONOR
“To be a pro football player in general is special. To be a star quarterback…goes without saying. But to be a starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers – I knew that was special. I couldn’t be playing in a better place. It would be like playing baseball for the Yankees, or basketball for the Celtics. It’s a dream come true.”

HOW TO REMEMBER A LEGEND
“When it's over, all I care about is that people say: ‘If I can play, I want to play just like him. The way he plays, the way he carries himself.’ I would hope they say, ‘I like the way that guy plays. You can’t help respect the guy.’ I want people to say that and nothing more.”

Daily Dawg

R.O.Y. HITS WINNER, SAYS HE'S GROWING CONFIDENT WITH HIS GAME
Now, if Sonic fans only had confidence in their team.

CELTS ESCAPE BY THE HAIR ON THEIR CHINY-CHIN-CHIN
The Eastern Conference Cupcake City Tour continues.

HEISMAN HOPEFUL'S WINGS CLIPPED
No more quacking for the Ducks in BCS. Time to fly south to one of the Scrub Bowls.

KENNY ROGERS KNOWS WHEN TO FOLD 'EM.
Scott Boras, apparently not how to hold 'em.

COACH MCMILLAN WORRIED ABOUT ODEN'S WEIGHT
The blogosphere only about his blogging skills.

Daily Dawg

JAKE PEAVY NAMED NL CY YOUNG
Barry Bonds named NL Jose Canseco

UA BLOWS DUCKS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME-FACE OFF
Dick Cheney could've done it so much faster.

DICK VITALE STARTS SEASON WITH LARYNGITIS
There is a God after all. Here's to a not-so speedy recovery.

PACMAN GETS YEAR PROBATION
Must stay away from the long arm of the law, Blinky, Pinky, Inkey & Clyde.

STRUGGLING BULLS IMPLEMENT OFFENSIVE PLAY FOR BIG BEN
Stand 15-feet from the basket and narc to the ref about the defensive 3 seconds. That's worth a couple free throws a game. Yup, more than Big B is going to convert.

NBA'S NEW CATCH-PHRASE IS HERE!
"Where amazing happens." Yeah, for like two weeks of the playoffs, if we're lucky.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: BARRY BONDS INDICTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shocker. Wake me when he's at the guillotine, and Jesse Jackson has failed to gain a stay of execution.

Hey, Al Cowlings, you got room for two?

Daily Dawg

PHIL JACKSON WANTS TO MAKE SURE NO HORSES WERE OFFENDED BY HIS BROKEBACK PUN
Too late for the horses-asses that actually did take offense.

NCAA ADDS THIRD POST-SEASON HOOPS TOURNEY
You see what happens when there's a writer's strike? FYI: Cinderella will not be in attendance. Nor will my TV set.

NOTE TO EUPHORIC BOSTON FANS
Enjoy it while you got it, cause it ain't lasting forever. And, please, we don't care about your stinkin' soccer team, or Ben Affleck's new movie. Or actually, anything that Ben Affleck does, or likes. And that includes your teams.

OJ TRIAL TO GO FORWARD
Al Cowlings put on stand-by. (In new car.)

KNICKS TAKE A BITE OUT OF MARBURY TO THE TUNE OF $195K
Back in the saddle, and drunk on hubris, his band blow chunks (again) in L.A.

REDEMPTION REX GETS THE CALL SUNDAY
Seriously, is there a rabbi in the house? wink, wink (NSFW).

LITTLE BEEOTCH A-ROD COMES CRAWLING BACK ON HIS KNEES
Not sure if his begging bowl will hold $270mil.

RON-RON RETURNS, SAY'S IT'S "SAME OLD, SAME OLD"
Prepare the meds, straitjacket and women to beat.

Note to OJ: I can quit you now. Maybe you'll finally give me my snake skin boots back?

Daily Dawg

KEVIN "MOBY" DUCKWORTH SIGHTING AT BLAZER GAME
Luckily, Capt. Ahab not in attendance.

STARBURY GOES MIA, THREATENS TO DISS ON ISIAH
Trade to New York Post said to be in the works.

NFL CENTERS FORM UNION TO JUSTIFY CELEBRATIONS AFTER SUCCESSFUL SNAPS
Yes, the NFL has come down to this. And, yes, you're all No. 1 in my book.

RICKY WILLIAMS RE-INSTATED
That should help the winless Dolphins. Gentlemen, start your bongs.

PAT RILEY THREATENS TO SUIT UP
Shaq threatens to convert a two-foot jump hook, take Lil Penny and go home.

PACMAN WORKS PLEA DEAL IN VEGAS SHOOTING
OJ denies guns were involved.

A Final Word With Randy Couture

TGR: When was the first time you knew you could fight?

RC: I was in a fight in seventh grade. And you know, everybody picks on the seventh graders. This ninth grade kid decided I was the guy he was gonna pick on and he started harassing me at lunch hour. I hit him with a double-egg and put him on the ground and punched him in the face about five times. Nobody ever really picked on me after that.

TGR: Worst damage you did to somebody?

RC: The cut I put on Pedro Rizzo’s cheek the second time I fought him. It opened up a pretty good gash on his cheek.

TGR: What’s the worst you were hurt?

RC: An elbow to the eye socket when I fractured my eye. That was the worst one, for sure.

TGR: Who delivered that blow?

RC: That was Ricco Rodriguez in Connecticut.

TGR: Do you remember the first time you ever saw your own blood?

RC: Yeah. I was play-fighting on the playground in the second grade and my buddy swung me around head first into the cement wall. I cracked my head open and laughed it off at first. Until I reached up and brought my hand down and saw a handful of my own blood. It freaked me out.

TGR: Did you ever feel remorse after crushing somebody?

RC: You never really want to hurt anybody. But as far as beating somebody up to win the fight, within the limits of the rules, I don’t have any remorse about that.

TGR: How long did it typically take your body to heal after a fight?

RC: A typical fight, a week. But I’ve had some fights take months, you know, with the eye injury and things like that. The leg kicks that Pedro laid on me, the first time we fought, took about three weeks before I felt right again.

TGR: What was the best thing about Ultimate Fighting?

RC: The things I love most are the tactics and the technique involved. That’s what I got into. The one-on-on nature, as well. It was just me out there alone. I’ve got no one else to blame.

TGR: You’re doing some acting now…Who would play you in a movie version of your life?

RC: I guess it depends on which stage of my life you start it at. But probably right now, Ed Harris.

TGR: Ed Harris?

Kaman: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Clippers

Looks like Chris Kaman has regained his focus after a season from hell. Elton Brand told me over the summer that if Kaman hadn't been signed to the fat contract, CK would've played better and the Clips would have made the playoffs. Hmm.

Now it can be told what was really bogging Kaman down last year. It wasn't the contract, baby. It was the role model. (Click on pic.)














"High Five! Very Nice!"

David West - Interview

What can you say about David West? Other than he is developing into one of the best PFs in the league. DW gives us the 411 on all things Hornets here.

Competition in the West:
There’s no weak team in our southwest division, so we know we’re going to be fighting some of the best teams in the NBA every night. We just have to match their challenge, and understand they bring the same edge as we do.

Hornet Philosophy:
I think: just play hard, that’s about it. When you put maximum effort forward everything else just falls into place.

Explaining the Princeton Offense For Dummies:
If they don’t have some form of basketball IQ I can’t…OK:

1) Always move.

2) Don’t stand still -- that’s the biggest way to kill the offense.

3) When guys, or the ball, are coming toward you, look for the backdoor.

Coach B. Scott Runs Him Hard:
I think it’s all relative. I think what he tries to do is make sure we stay in shape, but he does run us. But again, it’s about us making sure that we’re prepared to play. Especially for guys not playing in the actual game, because they can get out of shape. And if you’re not getting up and down in practice…

Coach's Style:
He says what he wants, in terms of how he feels about guys. But basically, he puts it on you to perform. Do your job. At the same time, one of the things I do appreciate the most is the opportunity to play. There’s a lot of coaches in the league that will bark you down, you know, standing up every play, every time down the floor calling plays, and be completely in your face. Coach allows your ability to take over. He’s not going to try to limit you. He just wants you to be constantly aggressive, be on the attack all the time. That’s one thing I can appreciate, because I know, just from talking to guys around the league, that’s something you don’t get everywhere. You don’t just have the opportunity to just play.

On B. Scott coaching more in practice:
Yeah, but he coaches in the games too. It works both ways. I mean, in terms of trusting the guys so every time down the floor he doesn't’t have to call a play. We’re just looking to make basketball plays. That’s what it comes down to. Phoenix beats people because they make basketball plays in their offensive set every time down the floor. And they have freedom within those sets.

B.Scott's J:
I will say that he still can shoot and he does take guy’s money. In shooting games, he will take your money if you think you can shoot better than him.

B. Scott vs. Peja:
I don’t know who I’d put my money on. If one guy gets hot, man, it could be anybody’s show.

Assistant Coach Darrell Walker:
I think, number one, he just has that brutal honesty. And, a lot of guys can’t deal with it. Again, it’s not necessarily to beat you down. I think it’s more or less where you know exactly where he stands on every single situation. He’s old school in terms of letting guys know when they messed up. Or letting guys know that they need to be playing better and they need to be making shots. It just comes down to that. He’s going to speak his mind, and he’s going to talk to you like a man. And you gotta be man enough to take the criticism.

When Darrell Talks...
Again, you should listen, because he’s been there, he’s a proven player. But at the same time, he’s in a different capacity now because he’s not a player, he’s a coach. So you gotta look at it in terms of that. He’s not gonna sugarcoat things, none of our coaches will.

Playing with Peja and Bobby Jackson:
They’re winners. They’ve won in the league. And they know the offense. They used to run similar sets in Sacramento. And I think it’s a great opportunity to have some veteran leadership. You can learn from older guys who have been through some of the wars.

Chris Paul:
I think he understands what’s needed in order for us to be successful. He’s understood that from day one. He’s just going to continue to push the team's limits in terms of how willing we are, and how much we gotta keep up with him, how much it’s going to take for us to keep up, so he has options to pass to. With his ability, to always play at that speed and that pace, it’s something you gotta be prepared for. And he’ll let you know if you’re not running, and he needs you to run with him.

David West:
I just want to bring improvement to my game. I don’t want to take any backward steps, everything is going to be moving forward.
Favorite TV Show: I like Countdown with Keith Olberman.

Coolest Dresser:
Some of these guys have the European look going on. Rasual. I think Tyson’s got a little Euro look going on as well. But, I don’t know, to each his own I guess.

DW's Style:
My style’s laid back, just jeans and a t-shirt. I’m comfortable, man. Comfort is my number one goal.

DW, DJ:
I’m listening to whatever hip hop artist I’m feeling that day. I sometimes give guys exclusive music. I just have the most music. The most access to music. I know a lot of guys that get a lot of mixed tape music and stuff like that. So my teammates look to me for some new stuff. Stuff that’s not out on the radio yet.

Hornets Like:
I think we like playing against Phoenix because we know the style of play, you know the type of game it’s going to be up and down, a lot of scoring. Those are the best kind of games to play in. Phoenix just sucks you into their brand of basketball, so it’s almost contagious. It’s going to be more playground fun.

Key to Crunch-time:
Having the confidence to not be worried about the outcome. It’s always just having the confidence to be in that position, to be man enough to take that shot.

Strangest thing about Tyson Chandler:
I don’t think he’s strange.