Meet the Falker

RANDAL FALKER PLAYS FOR SO. ILLINOIS HOOPS
I only hope he gets a haircut before he meets my parents.

NBA TAKES THE HOLIDAY OFF
Strippers nationwide give thanks.

KENNY ROGERS FOLDS ONE A-HOLE AGENT AND HIRES ANOTHER
Himself.

ISIAH: “WHEN YOU'RE IN A HOLE LIKE THIS, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PLAYERS, IT'S REALLY ABOUT THE COACH."
Next.

OLD SPICE POOFTER
Is it just me, or has the guy in this commercial never played a basketball game in his life? And must we look at that disgusting chest-hair growth simulation? Is this a commercial or the birthing of Robin Williams?

MINUS THE HAIR, RICKY WILLIAMS RETURNS TO PRACTICE
"We kind of forget he's here," a Dolphin teammate tells reporters. Hmm. What's he smoking?

TYSON SURVIVES INTENSE 24-HOUR SENTENCE
Spends time reading, and re-acquainting himself with his old friend Sloppy Joe. No word on whether or not sloppy seconds were granted. Either way, there's going to be some mighty jealous pigeons when he gets home.