The Two Faces of David Stern

David Stern on the possibility the Pistons and Spurs could meet in the finals...



David Stern after the Pistons and Spurs don't make the finals...

Mike Breen's Mentor a Chicken

"He just took the ball out of bounds!!!!!!!!!"

A Message to Kobe Haters

You can exhale now. He isn't going to self-destruct.

10 Words Women Don't Want to Hear Out of Your Mouth

1. I

2. was

3. only

4. using

5. you

6. because

7. I

8. was

9. hard

10. up

8 Reasons Why Men Are Men

1. Because it's cool.

2. Because we are.

3. Because we came.

4. We saw.

5. We conquered.

6. We kicked ass.

7. Then we came again.

8. And we forgot to get her name.

10 Ways to Say 'I Hate You' to an Ex

1. "I hate you."

2. Mail your homemade porn tapes to her parents.

3. Tell her she's as skanky as Paula Abdul.

4. Tell her again.

5. Report the inadequacy of her BJ technique on wall at Facebook.

6. When you see her face, you don't even know her -- unless she wants to give you a break-up BJ.

7. Report that she did on Facebook.

8. "Je te deteste."

9. Tell the next b/f you gave her the clap.

10. Give him the clap, too.

If a Woman Farts in the Forest...

Does it make a sound?



What about if she farts in your presence? And she's hot. Guess it doesn't make a sound then, does it? But how many do you let her get away with before saying something? And, at what count does she start becoming "not so hot?" -- except in terms of increasing Global Warming.


"It's been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. That's why Tipper's been on lock-down lately."

6 Things You Shouldn't Be Saying to Your Stalker

1. Hello.

2. Do you park here often?

3. I've seen bigger penises on my brothers.

4. I bet that made you real popular in high school.

5. Sure, I'll get in.

6. I hope you don't mind yeast infections.

10 Things Verne Troyer Would Do For an Encore

1. Sniff blow off a hooker's ass while farting the National Anthem.

2. Challenge a mouse to a skateboard race.

3. Bang any living munchkin from the Wizard of Oz.

4. Shave Mike Myers pubes and save them in a jar by his bed.

5. Marry a vegetable named Demetri.

6. Audition to find "love" with Tila Tequila.

7. Demonstrate his fine mastery of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

8. Apply to be paper weight between Mary Carey's breasts.

9. Nominate Pop Tarts as the number one snack food for diabetic children.

10. Reveal he was also a high-priced Spitzer Girl.