Obama Prays For Rose Bowl Victory

Shortly After the Ball Drops on Times Square

The garbage must be collected.


Send Isiah a real message in the confetti!!!!

Two Words For Shaq: It's Time

NBA: Where Amazing DOESN'T Happen Every Two Seconds

But trying telling that to play-by-play man Mike Breen, who sounds like he has an Enzyte erection at all moments of a game, no matter how mundane: "The ball is inbounded!" (BOING), "He got a rebound!" (BOING), "The waterboy tries to go backdoor on me!"

How NBA Coaches Feel After the New Mandatory Quarter Break Interview

Play The Hot New Game...

Next to be, well, hung

Another Reason Why Youtube Shouldn't Be Available to the Assistant Principal

Jeter Not Ready to Admit Anything, Yet Curious

Related post

After Psychotic Break, Papelbon's Dog Wants Equal Treatment

original story

Nomination For the Pole Dancer Hall of Fame

36 seconds in...

Michael Richards Comes Out With Laugh Factory Excuse

If Roger Clemens Was the Son of a Toymaker...

Jeter in on the act

Great piece in NYT:
Pete Rose's Lesson for Roger Clemens

A View From Last Night's Laker Bridge

The Clipper Curse is alive and well.

Pettitte Claims He Only Used HGH For 2 Days

Clemens claims contact high.

Why I Think Sideline Reporters Are Geniuses

Wait! I am just about to lift my finger off the "y" key...And...I'm typing again:

Battle of Desperate NFL Owners: Summer 2009

Bud Selig Falls Off Podium And Breaks Mind

OK, he didn't really. But easy believable.

This is truly a man who is losing his facilities -- "Eh? what's that you say?"-- and shouldn't be in charge of such a major organization. And, oh yeah, the dude's a corporate stooge.

Does he actually believe himself when he says this isn't a setback for the sport? He should be in trenches with the MLB PR people right now. Can't wait to see the manipulative commercial BS they come up with:

"MLB: Where Amazing (Drugs) Happen."


"Can I have a do-over for Christmas, please, Santa? And maybe a shiny red wagon?"

Kenny Smith Up For Play-by-Play Brilliance of the Year Award

With 37.6 on the clock vs. Sonics, this gem from the Kenster: "Only down five, plenty of time to go." He actually said it with a purpose. The purpose to sound like the foolish play-by-play guy he is. BTW, Knicks lost, crowd continued their "Fire Isiah!" chant and Isiah was quoted as saying it was "win or die." Funny enough, I'm not seeing his funeral today. And, to the next genius that hires Zeke after this one...Have I got a bridge for you.

We Now Return You to Your Regular Sports Programming

Yes, covering the writer's strike was downright grueling for the Dawger, and kind of sad. I am wondering how all those poor souls will feed their families: a diet of Aspen for the holidays.

Anyway, priorities are now in order (sports, and chicks, rule!) and DD is heading back into the sportal waters...

COACH OVERBOARD! FALCONS PETRINO PHONES IN RESIGNATION
Rest of franchise wishes they could follow. James Cameron thinks "sequel," but with dogs and prison and stuff. I can hear Celine warming up now.

CAVS BENCH TO THE RESCUE
Helps when LBJ's coming off it. And not sitting on it injured.

NEW JERSEY FAILS TO PUT BALL THROUGH NET IN 4Q
I lost count at 15 in a row. Who would've ever thunk the day would come that VC himself got posterized, and by a rookie? Say it wasn't so Vince! It was so.

BTW: Nets suck. Eastern Conf sucks (OK, not you Boston) and I'd rather watch paint dry. I got news for you David Stern: AMAZING DOESN'T HAPPEN IN THIS CONFERENCE!

5-YEAR-OLD DESCENDANT OF DAVY CROCKETT KILLS BEAR!!!!
Stephen Colbert not around to celebrate it. Think this dude could take a bear?

Vick Sentenced to 23 Months

"Thank you, Santa."

F*ck the Writer's Strike!

David Duchovny on the Picket Line

Rex Grossman Fan Club Takes Big Hit

Before injury: 4
After injury: 1

For membership info please contact: rexsmom@yahoo.com



"Oh, Rex, son, you used to have so many admirers."

Tina Fey Weighs in on Knicks

Bonds Drops The Big One on Pearl Harbor Day

"I'd like to play in 2008." How does the San Quentin Mud Gulls strike you?

Remaining 47 Vick Dogs Placed With Rescue Groups...

Be on the lookout for 13 pay-girlfriends that still remain on the loose. If seen, please approach with extreme caution.



"I'm slugging the first one in here that calls me 'Dawg'."

IT'S OFFICIAL: BRONCOS HENRY DIDN'T INHALE

He did have to pass a lie detector test, submit a hair follicle sample, and, worst of all, he had to go through the tortuous process of breathing "second-hand" marijuana smoke. Is this the NFL or a Cheech & Chong movie?

CABRERA AND WILLIS HEADED TO MOTOR CITY
What you talkin' bout? Talkin' about the demolition project continues in FLA. Luckily no one gets to vote on it.

MORE UGLY HOOPS AT THE GARDEN
Only this time it was between USC and Memphis, the Tigers winning in OT. And forget the name of the Rose, and hold the Mayo, say hello to Devon Jefferson.

STALKING STUFFER: THE MITCHELL REPORT TO BE RELEASED BEFORE XMAS
Make no mistake, he* knows if you've been bad or good...
(*not to be confused with Jose Le Hoe Canseco)

OFFICIAL REPORT: ROLLE UNHAPPY HE WAS CALLED A BOY
Runs right home and tells his agent.

ANDERSON VAREJAO FINALLY SIGNS OFFER SHEET WITH BOBCATS
There hasn't been a holdout this insignificant since K-Fed refused to sign the divorce papers.

BRIAN BILLICK BITES HEAD OFF CHICKEN

A FORTUITOUS FOURTH SEES PATRIOTS STICK TOGETHER IN PERFECTION
While Raven players wonder if their coaching staff is with or against them.

NOTE TO MIKE TIRICO:
Tone it the Fu*k down!

BRUINS FALL TO NO.8 IN LATEST CBA POLL
One question: Where was the Love?

KEVIN DURANT A LOCK FOR R.O.Y.
What else do you give the player with the worst plus/minus in the league?

BULLS FUTILITY CONTINUES AGAINST MAVS
John Paxson seen scouting halftime shooting contest.

UCLA HANDS KARL DORRELL HIS WALKING PAPERS
Only five black coaches left at 119 major programs. This is no "dawg." This is sad.

YANKS TALK TOUGH: GIVE TWINS MONDAY NIGHT DEADLINE ON SANTANA
Carlos wonders if Bronx Bombers will ever change their evil ways.

CUBAN STILL COVETS CUBBIES
Calls it a "passion project." The passion to make a few gazillion more bucks.

NOTRE DAME'S CHARLIE WEIS CAPTURES YESTERDAY'S YOGI BERRA AWARD
"What you have to do is win more football games."

THE BCS DANCE IS HERE! WHAT WOULD MARIE OSMOND DO?

BCS HANDS OUT TICKETS
Fortunately Marie Osmond not invited. P.S. And you won't want to miss that San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl!

JAMARCUS SIGHTING IN OAKLAND
As was a Raider team -- for a day.

IF LUKE WALTON WASN'T A LEGACY, WOULD HE BE IN THE NBA?
I know, I know, he has a great basketball IQ. But so do I and I'm not even starting for my Y-rec league team.

SEEN AT LAKER GAME: LAMAR ODOM TALKING SMACK WITH DWIGHT HOWARD
Hey, L.O., isn't the time for talk over? Oh yeah, Coach wants you to take more 3's. Not.

LONGHORNS SHOW UCLA THE LOVE WITH 8SEC TO GO
Love himself saddled with a case of the White Man Disease during game: Big, slow and in foul trouble.

SONICS SCOREBOARD CATCHES FIRE
You see, even being a Sonic scoreboard is hell. Scoreboard: "I've lost count! I'm burning up! Get me the hell out of this city!"

KNICKS FAIL (ONCE AGAIN) TO MAKE IT UP THE HILL
It's like they're rolling down the other side in a drunken frat haze.

WHAT'S UP WITH FRANK BEAMER'S THIRD CHIN?

It almost made me blow my lunch.

ANOTHER USELESS BROAD ON SIDELINES
Lisa Salters during last night's Missouri/OU game: "Chase Daniels is fuming!" Cut to Daniels sitting on the bench looking as cool as a cucumber. "Oops! Never mind."

SIGN SPOTTED AT MAVS/HORNETS GAME
"Dirk makes me want to be German." To the moron that actually spent all week thinking that one up: Auf Wiedersehen.

RODNEY PEETE INTRODUCES LINEUP FOR TROJANS
Rob Reiner for UCLA. Hmm. What position did he play? Lunch line safety? Meathead.

MUSWOODY (NOUN)
That which occurs when Brent Musburger sees anything go down on a football field. Can someone please lessen the Viagra dosage?

AMOUNT OF TIMES VERNE LUNDQUIST SAYS "MY GOODNESS" A GAME
Lost count.

SUSPECTED COACH ISIAH SIGHTING AT GARDEN

STAN VAN GUNDY FOR COACH OF YEAR
Isiah Thomas for Coach of the Night -- in the northeastern section of the country, excluding the Syracuse University Intramural League.

"NBA: WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS"
Except if you're a Knicks fan.

USA DAVIS CUP ON VERGE OF FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP SINCE '95
Three viewers excited. What's up with that? Gooooooo team?

TO THE UPTIGHT COMMENTATOR GANG: HUBIE AND DOUG
For how it's done right, see: Majerle, Dan. It ain't brain surgery. You guys really need to sit on a whoopee cushion or something.

D-HOWARD=MONSTER
D-HOWARD'S FTs=MOUSE
Subtract the mouse from the monster and what you get is a Manster. He'll still eat you alive.

KNIEVEL: OCTOBER 17, 1938 - NOVEMBER 30, 2007